I’m back from California, and feeling the benefits of a much needed break.
Before I left last week, life was feeling a lot overwhelming and much too busy. I am by nature a high-energy person with a go-go-go attitude. I have always loved the finish-it-up part of a project (anything that takes longer than two days start-to-finish is not my cup of tea), but I have never been great predicting the actual time that things will take. So, I run around collecting ideas, creating to-do lists, beginning one, and another, and another, and another project and then all of the sudden, I realize that I am in over my head and the only way to finish everything that I have committed to do is to stay up late and wake up early.
On my visit, Cassi said something like “I can’t believe how much you are doing! I sometimes wonder when you sleep.” and I admitted that I really hadn’t been sleeping much. And I like my sleep! I just get so wound up with doing things- all good things that make me happy- and I can forget to take care of some of the basics, like sleep.
Because of my over-scheduling and lack of healthy sleep in the last couple months, I was headed down a slippery slope towards the blues. It is really easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed out, and unhappy when you don’t take care of yourself. I was getting easily irritated, with myself, the boys and my husband, and felt minutes from a minor breakdown…all the time. It’s sort of silly, because I have plenty of “me” time. I spend a couple hours every few weeks at the print shop, and when the boys are sleeping I get to sew, blog, craft, and read, etc. But I was always running something in the background. Thinking about the endless list of things that I want to accomplish, and feeling a little guilty for those that I knew I wouldn’t get to. None of it for the acclaim of others, mind you, these are all self-imposed expectations. I expect a lot of myself. Sometimes too much.
Getting on the plane last week felt like a physical force quit and re-start of my life. All of the too-many programs that I had been running in the background (all of them making the others slower and less efficient) had to be shut off for a few days. It was a week without to-do lists, household chores, sewing and printing projects, errands, or expectations that would keep me up all night. I felt like I had been freshly re-booted and I got to deliberately choose which applications to turn on. Multi-tasking can be very helpful, but leaving a bunch of open to-do’s on the back-burner, while trying to focus on anything else is simply not effective.
One thing I discovered I had really been missing (other than sleep) was quality “us” time with my babies. Sometimes I feel like I can spend the whole day around my kids, without actually being with them. I loved sitting on the floor playing animals and trains, pushing Milo on the swing at the park, helping little Eliot practice rolling over, and looking into both of their huge eyes when they needed me- without doing anything else at the same time! This trip I felt like I re-connected to myself as a mother, and remembered how sincerely precious and hilarious and wonderful my children are. Spending real time with them, while all of my other programs are turned off, is so fulfilling!
The physical and emotional re-start that I got this trip was only one of the many reasons that I enjoyed every minute of it! I am excited to share some of the fantastic things that we saw, did, and ate (of course!) I am also excited to continue posting about my adventures in sewing, crafting, cooking, printing, and so forth, just trying to not do it all at once!
