Miranda: Hello! Welcome back to the show. You’re listening to episode number 298 of Practically Happy. This is the final episode in my Pass the Mic Summer Series. I hope that you’ve enjoyed this as much as I have. Passing the microphone around to friends, women I admire, podcasters, business owners, incredible thought leaders.

Today’s episode is a real treat with my good friend Meikel Reese. I’m so excited to finish this series with this open hearted, vulnerable, wonderful and insightful episode with Meikel. As a quick intro, Meikel was born in Samoa and raised in Utah. She’s passionate about life and people. She’s a writer, creator, reader, and coach.

Specifically, an emotional and relational intelligence coach facilitating healing and understanding of self and community through emotional and ancestral work. Meikel coaches’ individuals and does consulting for companies and corporations to help them build a culture. Of safe, inclusive, productive work.

Meikle’s a dynamic and engaging human being. I was privileged to have her come to one of my creative camp retreats a couple years ago. I fell in love with her huge heart and her dynamic, engaging personality. She has a genuine love and curiosity about people. She is also incredibly grounded in a way that is sometimes hard to find in our fast-paced world.

Meikel has some cool and unique lived experiences that allow her to teach in a way that resonates with people and to bridge gaps in understanding. I’m thrilled to pass the mic to Meikel today to talk a little bit about peace. I hope you’ll enjoy and let’s get going. Meikel, welcome to Practically Happy Podcast.

I am thrilled to pass the mic to you today as part of this summer series. How are you doing today? I’m so good and I’m thrilled to be here. Thank you. Yeah, we love it. So, I know, I love it! I would love for those in my audience who aren’t familiar with you or your work yet, we will send them all to learn more about you, but just as a general kind of intro, get to know you, what you’re about, and what’s been going on for you in the last little while, or how you’ve gotten to where you are.

Meikel: Hey, so I am a transformational coach and an intuitive healer and so that is a lot of fanciness to say I walk people through their emotional journey and so whatever your blocks are those things that need to shift and are wanting to transform within you I use many different modalities to do this.

A lot of it looks like talk therapy, although I am not a therapist and a lot of it is somatic work it’s finding the core of the issue and getting to it so that you can make headway. And it’s getting you to the point where you can see the truth about yourself and really witness it and go from self-loathing to self-loving and walking that journey from loathing to loving.

Cause we’re all inundated with; you need to love yourself. But when we spend most of our time in loathing, it’s a journey back. And so, there is some expedited ness to mine, which is we get to the root. And part of that’s the intuitive healing. And so, I ask I ask better questions that get us better results.

I love that. And so, body, mind, and soul all at once so that they can all, because we need all three.

Miranda: So cool. What led you to this field or how did you step into this idea of You know becoming a healer, a coach yeah,

Meikel: so, I had an interesting kind of unusual childhood where I was an only child Surrounded by five adults and I quickly learned how to emotionally regulate them And so I’m what in the therapeutic version is a parentified child, but the skill was more than just a skill I learned through trauma.

It was also something that I’ve learned it came very intuitively to me. And so, because of that upbringing and I have ADHD, I have all these things. And so, school never really hit for me. And so, I assumed that I couldn’t do these things. So, I tried on several different careers. I’ve been a photographer.

I’ve been a florist. I have been a clothing buyer. Like I owned a clothing company for a while. Like you name it, I’ve done it in all those fields. I’ve wound up with people. And sitting with them in their hardest moments. And the last job I had was in football. And when it started happening there, I was like, all right, got it.

Miranda: Yeah.

Meikel: What is the through line here

Miranda: of all these different things?

Meikel: And so, I was like, all right, but then I had three little kids and going back to school Didn’t seem like an option just for me And so I got certified in everything I could get certified in, so I have a neural emotional coaching certificate I have a breath work certificate.

Yep, you name it. I was finding everything and at the time I was like, I can’t commit to anything because I just kept hopping from one thing to another and now, I’m learning that it was this beautiful thing because when people come to me, I’m like, let’s try these little mixes of things. I’m a one stop shop for these things.

And if they want to go on, they can go on with those things.

Miranda: But I

Meikel: have all these random certifications, plus the gifts that I’ve honed over the education that has been my life. And now I’m finally, I’m 41. I’m finally proud of that, that my education I got from lived experience and that I went back to all those things and gained.

That knowledge. So that’s what got me here, but I did come kicking and screaming.

Miranda: Yeah, I love what you would call a random assortment of certifications. I call this a vast toolbox. So many different tools to be able to help people where they are with which thing which is such a gift. And then I love that you mention plus my life experience.

I think we often discount lived experience. If it doesn’t have some sort of exterior stamp of approval, we think that it doesn’t count where it counts maybe more to have interacted in the world as a human and learned along the way. So, I, it feels like a good kind of integration that you’ve made.

Meikel: I truly, and I encourage everyone to look at your life, and so many of my clients will come to me haven’t done anything.

I’m like, let’s take a quick look at that.

It can feel like you haven’t done anything, but you, that I deal a lot in accuracy. Let’s be accurate. What have you done? What have you learned? And usually it comes to Oh, I don’t value. What I’ve done, right? And with mothers, that’s a huge one.

I’m just a mom. And the first thing I say to them is let’s drop that jest right away.

Because I’m a mother too, and it is certainly not a jest. It is. Yeah. The job the effort and the soul and the heart that goes into it is Beyond. And so, what are you learning from it? How did it change you?

How did you allow it to change you? That’s your education right there.

Because they’re like, and that’s, if I have a goal, it’s to be that for people. It’s I need you to see where your value lies. And to honor it. It’s hard. And right. Won’t beat about the bush. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

It’s also one of the things I’m most proud of.

Miranda: Yeah, something that you’ve been sharing online. I love following along on Instagram. I mean I sometimes Wish that I didn’t like Instagram as much as I do for following along with people because it’s a platform. I’m like, I don’t know, but then that is where I stay connected.

And I love seeing creators like you share messages that feel deeply impactful. And one of the things that I’ve seen you share a few times recently that has really struck a chord with me and just, it’s. I can keep looping back to it as a question and I’m so excited to hear more about this from you, is the idea of the importance of accessing and protecting our peace as women.

And every single one of those words feels like lightning bolt to me. Accessing, protecting, and protecting our peace as women. Tell me a little bit more about this and then I want to go in, I want to dive a little deeper.

Meikel: I want to know why it feels like lightning to you. Why

Miranda: are those words

Meikel: so jolting?

Miranda: I think peace is maybe like the ultimate piece feels to me like one of the ultimate arrivals. Or maybe something to carry along the way, when I feel most aligned, even if it’s aligned in the middle of a big project or aligned in a deeply exciting adventure. It feels peaceful.

So, it can be both exciting and wild and fun and peaceful. And, but it’s not all the time. It’s like these. I, when I’m there, I’m like, oh yeah, this is the way that I want to feel all the time. And so, I feel like the work that I’m trying to do is what are some of the components of that?

How do I engineer that a little bit? Which I’m probably overthinking. Cause my therapist would say I plan and engineer a little too much, but like how do I reverse engineer it? So that there’s more of that, or I can access it, like access it. And then once it’s there, like, how do I make it last longer?

How do I get back to that space? Have some of that I feel like meditation, learning to meditate and having a meditation practice. For the last several years has been one of those places. And I tell people all the time, they laugh when there, I just graduated from this fancy Ivy league master’s program.

And my biggest takeaway was the vitality of meditation for our health. And they’re like, I could have looked at the cover of any magazine and heard that, but I’m like, no,

Meikel: though. But that’s information. You were reading information. You took it in as information and your logical brain went, yeah, That’s probably true.

You now know it in your body. You have now applied it and it came through for you during a time that was so tumultuous. And you were like, I’m following my soul calling truly, to get this degree. And it’s making everything else chaotic. So, I’m going to go into this modality that I read, they say it really helps.

Now you know it in your body. And so, when you tell someone else that frequency is different, totally. They can feel that you know it in your body, which is different than knowing it in your mind. That’s just information. This is truth for you now. And those are the kinds of things that hit. And so, whatever it is, and like protecting your piece, it’s that knowing, right?

It’s the knowing of I’m going, whether it’s like, oh, this is what I learned and now I’m going to share it. Or there is this deep, I get a peaceful feeling when I know I need to be doing this program. Whatever it is that you’re doing, except for everything is chaos and the chaos is telling my mind that I’m doing it wrong.

Because if I were doing it right, everyone would be happy. Everyone would like me. My kids would be happy every minute of the day. And when that is not ever the actuality, but we’ve been taught that it was, it’s and so those words, like the protecting your peace,

And especially as women, when we were conditioned to be the ones that made everything, okay, we’re constant.

We have this, whether it’s, an intuition that has always been there for you and everyone’s in, everyone is intuitive, but everybody has a different kind of expression of it. Or it’s because we learned to be people pleasers until the minute that someone’s mood shifts in the room. We’re like, how do we fix it?

How do we do this? And so, we’re only good if our kids are perfect and our husband is happy, and you name it. Yeah. So, if you mess that up by following your soul calling, wow, you did it wrong. When really, what if you’re doing it so right? Because chaos, creation is chaos. And so, things that need to get mixed up so that they can come together again.

And one of the main things that I teach clients is it’s a cyclical nature of life that we have forgotten. Okay. And there, everything comes and goes and that when things aren’t working anymore, they need, it needs to come apart so it can come back together. Or when there is a call, when you were like, I have this beautiful mind that can go to an Ivy league school that can get this.

I’m going to follow that. What a beautiful gift to your children too, because even though it was hard for them, guess what they just learned? Y’all can go through hard stuff together and they learned. I get to follow my soul too. And I’m seeing my mother be this independent person in that she’s not just my mom.

Does that make sense? Like we’re humanizing ourselves where before we were just supposed to be these animatronic characters who smile all the time. And we’re like, we’ll get your shoes for you. When we were slowly dying inside, we don’t want that for our children. So why would we want that for us? And so, our peace comes at a cost of course, Except for we’re missing the point where we are showing we’re literally modeling for our children for everyone who is watching us, that it’s okay to be a messy human, to create the life that you want.

And it usually, historically it took women, it’s getting lower and lower, but it like took them until they were 50 to live the life that was for them. Now it’s like 40, now it’s 30. And hopefully we’re getting closer to, hey, you should know who you are. And do the work to know that so you can build your life for you.

So, peace always comes at a cost, but we were taught that peace doesn’t cost anything.

Miranda: For, if, for someone listening who’s thinking, I don’t even know what they’re talking about when they talk about peace. What is that? What does it feel like? Or what is it, like, how would I, how would you even define that outside of the context of war and peace?

Or no one’s fighting? I think a lot of times we think of peace as the absence of conflict or chaos. That is what peace is, right? So, if you can have peace in the middle of conflict or chaos, then how is that different? What would you say? Like, how do you think about peace? How do you define it?

Meikel: This is a solid question. So, let’s take the, let’s take the war and the peace off the table for just a second. And we’ll talk about the inner peace that, we’re talking about, but this is the most important one, because what we see out in the world is reflected on what is going on inside of us too.

So, it’s, what does peace feel like to you? It’s not really a question I can answer. That is something that you, it’s what I’m for, right? You can learn how to feel that what that feels like in your body with me. You can do it with you. There’s so many other, there’s so many ways to do this, but that it’s a deep knowing that for me, Feels like this stillness.

It’s a stillness that I can’t argue with and so look I’ve been through a lot and in my life, I had a very tumultuous childhood all the way up You know, I’ve now been divorced and to watch that fall apart but no in every cell of my body that I was creating long term peace. I don’t have the words for it because I’m in awe, it’s going to sound hilarious, of myself in this moment because it’s true because the confirmation that keeps coming back with, I stood for my peace.

I stood for my value. And it’s not like I didn’t put in the work to try to make that right. But I was watching as me pulling back from being this over functioner and over giver caused pain. Yeah. But it was the kind of pain and chaos that set everybody free. It, I was absolutely doing the work so that the marriage could come back together, but it didn’t.

And that’s okay. Because that I knew that feeling because, and the other thing, at least for me, the piece came with a knowing and no stories in my mind

When it was anxiety or fear, the stories would go right. And it was like what if this happened though? And this was more like, and for me, sadness comes along with it.

There’s a peace when there’s chaos. And then after that hard part of letting something fall apart that was meant to, then the real peace came, and the feeling was the same. And the relief from that was it’s the same concept as your meditation. You can’t know it until you know it but taking that leap to trust and protect your own peace is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done.

And so, when people are like, I don’t know what to do, it’s yeah. And that’s why you deserve to have community to have and to hire coaches or at least develop a community where someone can go, I see you. And someone shouldn’t be going yeah, you should leave, or you should stay.

It should be like; how can I support you to make your decision? Cause I’m sure people come to you for the same thing. They’re like, just tell me what to do. And it’s

Miranda: yeah. Oh, we love that. We love a give me a recipe. Tell me the steps. I want the magic. The, the secret. Yes.

Meikel: Just tell me.

I’ll do anything. It’s here’s the deal. I will give you universal truth. And I will give you every modality that I have collected in my 41 years. And then you got to try it on. And that feeling, it’s like, what does that feel like to have peace? You get to find that out. And I’m so sorry to everyone listening.

You do have to find it out for yourself. And the thing is once you find it, you know why. And you’re like, oh, I wouldn’t have wanted. to do this any other way. And look we’ve been borrowing other people’s peace for a very long time. That’s why we’re seeking for power outside of us. It’s why we go to the authority.

I’m doing quotes because no one can see us, but these authority figures are like, just tell me what to do. And this like graduation is, I’m going to, yeah, I love some of

Miranda: the words that are jumping out for me are knowing. And I think that there’s this weird paradox too, because my I feel like I’m recognizing in the last few years that my deepest sense of knowing is an acceptance of uncertainty.

Where it’s I’m okay. I’m okay with the unknowing and that itself is what feels the best. To not feel like I’m looking for the stamp of approval or the check mark. I just, it’s I don’t know. And it’s in that moment of release that if I can be okay with that, that usually feels the most aligned because I’m not trying to hold to something that isn’t, that I don’t have control of. Which is, it feels backwards, but when then you were talking about stories, this feels true and applicable. And I think that it’s I love something pragmatic. And I think that feels helpful to people too, listening, because you can ask yourself Is this something I’m feeling, or is this something is it, could I recite this story to someone, could I tell someone about what it is that I’m concerned about or why I’m doing the thing that I’m doing, because often when it’s that deepest knowing, it doesn’t necessarily make logical sense.

And sometimes it feels supported by, here’s some reasons why this feels like it’s a good decision. But the ultimate decision is like that feeling, but a lot of times it’s I think some of my most aligned decisions have not made logical sense. Same. And the difficult thing about that is that it is easy to then question it because you’re like if I look back on paper, here’s all the reasons why, you know, and especially if it’s hard, if it’s hard and it’s sad and it’s difficult and it doesn’t work out maybe the way that you expected in the timeframe that you expected.

And then you’re like I must’ve just done it all wrong. But if you felt like it was right, there’s some maybe long arc to the trusting of that.

Meikel: Absolutely. And I’m so glad you said that. Cause I feel like this is something that gets. It doesn’t get talked about enough because we get, we talk about self-love, right?

What comes before love is trust. You must learn to trust yourself first. And that means that you get to make mistakes because that’s what you haven’t done this yet. You’ve done it in like very, and I don’t even want to say safe ways. It’s almost like stifling ways. It’s if I follow this recipe, if I follow these rules, then am I okay?

Everybody cools. I’m doing the right thing. When you start to trust yourself, that’s when you really, Can fall in love with you because you’re going to see your courage because before it There isn’t I don’t mean to say there’s not a lot of courage because that doesn’t sound great But hopefully everyone can understand that its but when you really take those leaps the ones that scare the shit out of you Sorry, but yeah

Miranda: No,

Meikel: that’s when you like learn the most about yourself And so I was just having this conversation moments before we got on here like where did I mess up in my life? And being accurate, it’s that was quite the lesson I provided myself, but it’s not a mistake when I go back and get the information and the lesson from it, then it’s an education.

Miranda: And

Meikel: so, we came here, at least in my opinion, and our physiology suggests it to feel and to learn. So, you’re going to have to do the work to trust yourself.

And it’s hard. And so now it’s thanked goodness. It’s so normalized to get, have a therapist, to have a coach, to have those things. Find someone who points you back to you, find someone who goes, here are, here’s the knowledge that I have and the modalities I have. What feels good in your body, right?

And teaches you to trust that Oh, that’s a yes. That’s a no. Because you have everything you need inside of you. What I see myself as and you as are these people who are going, we’re here to help you. So, let’s hear yourself. To hear the voice of your body, to hear the voice of your soul.

And so that you are in union with yourself because there’s several selves in here, right? There’s a lot. We are complex beings. So, when you’ve got your, and it’s the shadow work, right? When you illuminated all these parts of yourself and accepted all parts as who you are, neither good nor bad, but informative, that’s when you can then be in communion with someone else.

That’s when you go, Oh, my system. I know my system. I can trust this person. And I’m like, you know what? I’m going through something I need to either receive from you or I need some reflection. But at the end of the day, you’re coming back to you and going, am I living my life for myself? Which sounds like selfishness, except for this is the thing we’ve been missing. We’re all like, we want to be the change in the world. We want. To see all this peace in the world until it’s within here. You won’t see it out here It’s not to be cultivated in the fall first.

Miranda: Yes, particularly for women because women are taught from Generationally, like it is in our DNA to believe that our role our primary purpose is to Live for others and this is a deep unwinding that is taking place, I think.

Yes. I think for the last probably hundreds of years, each generation feels like, we’re doing the work! We’re liberated a little more! We’re liberated a little more! I was going to say the last 50 years, and then I’m like, no! Even in the 1700s, they were like, we’re going to wear higher petticoats or whatever, every No, it’s been

Meikel: happening for a while.

Miranda: Like 100%. They’ve been coming up for a long time! And ultimately, and I see this in my work with women every week, and I’m sure you do too, even young women who had, maybe even more progressive egalitarian upbringings feel guilty for doing things that feel good to them.

And it’s, even when they’re not taking anything away from anyone else. Being able to just have joy in a way that serves just you, and can serve other people, but even just going to a painting, this is a dumb example, but going to a painting class because you’re interested and curious about it, but you, Don’t plan to hang the paintings in your family’s house or give them to your husband or your children But you just want to like paint for fun.

So many people feel like that would be a waste What if it isn’t for you? External right reason like there must be some end to It can’t just be for your own experience. And that is I feel like what I’m hearing when you say living for yourself it’s like finding that fulfillment and knowing that you are as valuable to live for as the next person

Meikel: Thank you.

And this is where it is. It is you got to think about it for a minute because it sounds. It’s strange, but you we do need to be in service to each other. It’s a vital part of making the world a better place. It’s also part of our experience until you are in service to yourself though, until you understand that you are deserving of that, your inherent worth, that you have worth, that you didn’t have to earn, and you start to move in that way.

It’s like your actions prove that, right? But you’ve got to do that. Okay. That’s when you are can be fully in service to the collective or to someone else. But otherwise, resentment builds because you are giving away something that you don’t have, and you haven’t ever received. And furthermore, you’re going, I don’t deserve that.

And that’s in the deepest parts of you. And it’s usually unconscious, but what, because we are the same, right? It’s sameness of being, I’m not different from you. So, if I say I’m less than, you’re saying the other person is less than. And so, you create that hierarchy that we’re trying so hard to get out of where if you can put your oxygen mask on first, your ability to serve, your ability to make this world a better place is exponential.

And guess what? It won’t feel like work. Cause you are, and the cliches are cliches for a reason. You will be pouring from, you’re in overflow. You’re like, I have so much, here you go, and you’re not pouring from an empty cup. But that, all the stories, it was like, my mom, at funerals, it was like, she only thought of other people.

She never thought of herself. It’s you know what? That’s not okay. Yeah. It actually

Miranda: feels oh, ouch, because then you think that’s what you’re, that’s the model.

Meikel: Exactly. And I don’t want that. And I have literally chosen to not do that. And it’s I had this meltdown during COVID at my kids.

I am person too. I am a person too. Like they still laugh about it except for the conversation that follows it. But really, I had a full meltdown. I was like, I also have needs. But I’d never stated that before. And what came from that is my son was like, wait a minute. Were you not a mom before me? I was like, no, I was just a person.

And he was like, what? Oh, so funny. And he goes, do they just let anyone have a baby? I’m like yeah, they do. And he goes, that doesn’t seem right. I’m like, I know, but then it’s been like, oh, our kids need to know that we are also people. Yes. And of course, we show up for them. But once again, that when we meet our own needs and go, you know what?

I’m also a person. You’re going to have to wait just a moment. We’re teaching our kids excellent boundaries and that they will go, oh, I can do that too. And the perfectionism that is just rampant. Right now, and the anxiety is a lot because parents did not share any of their emotional life Which look there’s obviously a fine line.

Yes, but for them to go, you know what? I’m feeling sad and that’s not your fault. The kid already knows kids are so intuitive and so when we looked perfect, they were like these people are perfect and I can’t even achieve I can’t get there Yeah, I can’t get there. So once again, when you show your humanity, when you put your oxygen mask on first, when you acknowledge that you deserve all the things that you’re saying other people deserve, you are, you’re writing the energetics of it.

You’re bringing about the harmony and balance that we’re all talking about,

Miranda: right?

Meikel: And so, when you look out into the world and now, I want to pull the war and peace back over, that is also what we’re seeing. We’re saying like you can’t live this way. You can’t have these freedoms because we haven’t given them to ourselves.

So, all that repression and the suppression turns into violence and the scarcity and the not enough and the fear, right? But if we can give it to ourselves and go, Oh my goodness, there’s enough room for all of them. We can all, if we’re not harming each other, live in the ways that feel good to us.

I’ll imagine.

Miranda: Yeah. And we’re all better for that. Yes. Diversity of culture, thought, perspective, interest, knowledge, that, just the diversity is the only word for it, really the fascination of everyone as they are being, like, living into their best, highest, most joyful, noble selves, exactly what we all wish we were living in.

Meikel: A hundred percent. And things like human design, right? These ultimate personality tests, right? That are so much more. I’m sure if there were any HD people, they’re like, Oh my gosh, there’s so much more than that. I know. But what it’s saying is, we all came here with a unique design, right?

We really are all unique, which is another cliche, except for no two people have been made the same. Yeah. Not even identical twins. There’s a purpose for this. We are, we were designed to come here and vibrate at that frequency if you want to use it that way. When you can really tune into you and you should just be tuning into your frequency, when you emit that, that’s what creates peace and harmony.

It’s when we suppress that, and we’re trying to live someone else’s life and have someone else’s

Miranda: values.

Meikel: And I’m not saying that the values that you have right now are wrong. I’m saying, have you consciously chosen? Are they yours? Are they yours? And then do I know myself where I am? And this whole authenticity, right?

That’s taking over the Instagram. Which also cracks me up because it’s known we’re all stressed out. We’re like, are we being authentic?

Miranda: As if you could even be authentic on a two-dimensional, screen anyway, unless you had a live stream which is oversharing. We’re so much more,

Meikel: totally.

And so, it’s just like the authenticity is something, it’s just like the piece. Only you can know that. And it shouldn’t be like, oh, I just found out I’m not living authentically. This is another way to shame myself. No, it’s just information. Great. How would you like to start to live authentically? And then understanding your nervous system so that you’re not shocking it.

You’re not like and now suddenly, I need to be this whole different person like give yourself a beat Allow yourself to go. I haven’t been living in my frequency in my design Whatever you want to call it and then go how would I like to get there? And how can I make my body feel safe as I do that?

So that you’re not re-injuring yourself, because we love to do that. We’re great at this. We are. And you are the drama, you are the problem, but you’re also the solution. And to me, that’s the most hopeful thing that, the wisdom you’re looking for, the answer that you’re looking for.

It’s you.

Miranda: Yeah.

Meikel: But we don’t trust ourselves. We’re like no, I got to join this movement. This is now my identity. This is now this. It’s when it’s like. You’re a lot. Yes, exactly.

Miranda: And I love that as just as a kind of practical first step for people to think like What feels good or what feels out of alignment and if you can start to recognize what is One tiny shift that would feel better to me.

What is one way of doing things that I might try on or experiment with? Or maybe I don’t even know exactly. I was talking to a client earlier today about, sometimes you don’t, the knowing you must have information first. And so pretend, you’re in Costco on a Saturday and you don’t know what you want to eat, but there are 30 samples available.

You don’t have to decide right now. Go try a few things, sample it, put it on, see how it feels and tastes and whatever. And at the end of a process like that, you’ll have more information to help you, decide if you want to decide about moving in a direction, but you don’t have to make the decision before you have any experience or knowledge with it.

It’s hard to do that.

Meikel: It’s very hard. It’s a, we tend to put the heart, the cart before the horse, right? And really this is where the play gets to come in. But we think we, as a grownup, we must look like we have it all together. It’s no, I’m making these decisions because I know what I’m doing.

Oh, my goodness. You get to play; you get to play and try things on. And we don’t, we like don’t want to be pigeonholed by people, but this is where you go. I can’t control what they think of me. And that’s going to feel away. But also, I’m going to try this, picking a blanket that is being offered.

I will. I don’t know if I like that, but I’m going to give it a shot. And then be this curious data collector about your own life, right? And this works well because so many of us have gone from being fully in the mind, which is fine. Our minds are wonderful. Use that beautiful mind.

Be this analytic. Make a spreadsheet. Go. Go. I love a spreadsheet. Love a spreadsheet. Love a

Miranda: spreadsheet.

Meikel: And then let it sink down in your body. We’re trauma is too much, too fast, too soon, or not enough. And we’re like, we must change right now. And we go traumatizing ourselves again and said, we can’t heal ourselves in a way that we were traumatized.

So, this is about gentle. This is about play. This is about and that long arc again, that

Slow,

Miranda: Piece by piece, not, this transformation that happens. We really want it to be fast. We really, we want everything to be fast. We really want it to be overnight. We really want it to be this, the six-day program or, yeah, and it’s just not, it’s just the sooner that we can all, including myself, accept this idea that this is That the process is the journey.

That is, it. I don’t know that there’s a rival. Like I think that this is it and the sooner I haven’t done this yet, but the sooner I accept that there is no finish line.

Meikel: I feel like we go in and out of it. I go in and out of accepting that there’s no arrival and that there’s this, I have a lot of people be like, but can’t I just read Enlightenment?

And it, I’m like I think that’s what monasteries are for. If you want to be a Tibetan monk and you can extract yourself from the society and all you do is very, communal and minimal food and you have no responsibilities in your eyes. But if you are opted into the system, which I think is the most important work because the system needs the healing.

Miranda: Yeah.

Meikel: And so, when you’re willing to be in it, the enlightenment is going to come and go and that’s okay. And so, it’s, there is no arrival, but there are thresholds that you go through. And that’s the most beautiful part, but when you go through a threshold, I’m like, can I just be here though?

Can I just yeah. And the answer is usually you can, but once you get a taste of that kind of transformation and growth, usually you’re going to go for more. And so, before we started recording, I was saying like I’ve always asked my clients, can you just be in it for the journey? And over the last two years, I was like, Oh, I’m not in it for the journey.

And so, recommitting to that and being along for this ride where I don’t know what’s next And I’m okay with that the truth is like right now as we’re talking feel awesome about it Can’t wait to see what the unknown brings who knows in the morning. I’d be like I cannot I need Someone tell me what’s happening someone tell me and so I go back to this often.

What do I know for sure? I’m breathing in and out. That’s it. And that I know that I’m the creator of my own experience So if there’s something that is It’s not right with me. I’m the one that gets to make that right. I get to make these tiny micro traces in every day that change it. And that’s the hard, it was the hardest part for me still, right?

That it’s the small things like breathing, three conscious breaths coming back to my body and going, all right, what is the next step and what direction am I taking it in? And some days I must do those 900 times. And then the other days I’m like, I got this right. And allowing for that. So, the gentleness of allowing and being like, I’m still learning, and I hope I’m always learning.

Yeah, yes. Even though sometimes I could use a break from learning.

Miranda: Is, and I think that There are ways to check out from it for a minute, like I for sure am on the I mean have always been from the time I can remember I was on the self-development train and I like to hop off occasionally and I’m Learning to get over the guilt of that of I just want to read a beach read.

I don’t want to read a nonfiction book that teaches me something new, and that’s okay. We’re just we’re going to take a break and then we’ll jump right back in,

Meikel: We have these big experiences which cause us to go let’s do more because I’m healing and I’m changing. It needs time to work its way into your body.

Yes, the pause. Yeah. And there were years where I’m like, I don’t watch TV. I’m so elevated. Oh, my goodness. No. Give me any show that like allows my brain and my system to just go, you know what, maybe it’s not all that serious. And this, this is hilarious. And I’m so excited. I’m glad for that.

And so, the balance that everybody talks about, which I find to be elusive, it’s more the harmony that you can find in your life. And the balance of it. And when you get out of balance or out of harmony, look, I need to take my own advice. I hope you can laugh a little bit and you can be like, okay, there is chaos and there is no such thing as perfection and maybe offer yourself a little gentle, like I’m doing a lot.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and go get that beach read or go watch, whatever I watched the cutest rom com the other day on Netflix I don’t know what it’s called, but it was like, you knew this was going to end beautifully and I’m like, I’m so here for this Yes, it was beautiful, and I can read Nietzsche.

It’s a booth and always. Yeah, exactly

Miranda: Yeah, include

Meikel: Yeah indeed. We’re complex beings and that’s the beauty of it.

But we’re like, can we just please do one thing or the other?

Miranda: Yeah, again back to even just that idea of knowing being okay with uncertainty is even for our own identity, we want to just be able to say, I am the type of person that X, Y, Z, and end of story, and maybe we are sometimes and aren’t sometimes, and that’s okay.

Meikel: Yeah. And I find when I make those declarative statements, the universe is oh yeah. Yeah.

And then I get handed another lesson, so I’m really trying to be like, you know what? Hands off. I’m going to go ahead and just not. Yeah. You know what? I’m just going to. Totally. But who knows? It’s been fun so far.

Miranda: Yeah. Stay tuned. Yeah, exactly. Stay tuned. That, seriously. That, there it is right there. Yeah. So interesting.

Meikel: No, there’s no perfection here. No. Lord knows. Yeah.

Miranda: I love chatting with you about all of these things and feeling like, I feel like we’ve just pulled in a bunch of different threads and ideas that maybe people will be able to relate to the idea of feeling a certain way or wanting to know more about something, or even just like the invitation to like to pay closer attention to what peace might feel like for you and start to get curious about. When you do feel that pause for a second and acknowledge that and what is Happening right now in my body that I could you know, could I come back here sometime? What does that feel like? What does that look like? For people who You know everyone who wants to follow along with you hear what you have to say work with you Share some of the ways that people can continue to Interact with you

Meikel: wonderful.

So right now, Instagram is the best place to find me Just shoot me a DM. I am currently rebuilding all the things. Your website looks beautiful right now. Oh, thank you. I’m glad. I guess you can contact, she checked guys. The website’s live, Meikel Reese. com. Yes, or at Meikel Reese on, on Instagram. But I do well in the DMs.

And then you can also book a discovery call through those links. And I would love to connect always. And even if it’s just a question. I got into this too because I really love people. Yeah. That’s how every connection is.

Miranda: And you are such a joy to connect with. Yeah. I will make sure all those links.

Fun for me too. We’ll link everything in the show notes, and I will send people your way. And I am excited to see you in real life soon when I’m visiting Utah. Can’t wait to give you a hug. And awesome. Thank you so much for being here. Yes, of course. Loved it. And we’ll chat soon. Meikel, thank you so much for letting me pass the mic to you in this summer series.

I just really appreciate your perspective and your wisdom and the way we were able to just dive in and get into that. I hope that you are listening were able to glean some of the treasures in this conversation. Feel seen, feel related to have some understanding that we’re all wading through the messy middle of life together and taking care of ourselves enables our ability to take better care of those around us and in turn to, slowly, person by person, interaction by interaction, start to change the world next week.

I will be back and sharing all about my summer and my trips abroad and getting the kids back in school and all the things. I can’t wait to catch back up with you until then. Have a wonderful week and I will talk to you soon. Bye.