Turns out Motherhood is full-time, right?

These last few days have been eye-opening for me as I’ve taken care of both Milo and Eliot around the clock without Dave’s back-up (since he was in Roanoke taking the BAR). I figured it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, since he’s been studying all day most days for months–well, years if you count law school. I didn’t realize how much I rely on his support in the mornings and evenings (and even some stretches in the night since Eliot has joined us.) It’s been sort of exhausting trying to care for both boys all the time, and I feel like one of them was almost always needing something, whether food, sleep, rocking, “Elmo”, milk or just simple attention. And a lot of the time, I couldn’t fulfill those need fast enough to avoid some crying, break-downs, and the occasional sippy-cup being thrown across the room. Not that I have ever avoided those things, but the frequency with which they happened seemed to increase exponentially as the days without Dave passed by.

LET ALONE maintaining some order in my little home, working on projects, or sleeping. No, in order to get all (or even two) of those things accomplished I would need more hours in the day. And that is something I don’t have. So, something’s gotta give. I hate to accept it, but it’s time. I have to CHOOSE. I can’t do it all.

Dang, that’s too bad, right?!

I’ve already practiced choosing to let go of the laundry a little bit–as you may have guessed if you saw Milo walking around in a bathing suit and tee-shirt the other day since his shorts were all dirty;) And everything else will find it’s place. I have mulled over planning a schedule for housework and such, but I think I need to be more flexible and just know that not every single thing on the list will be crossed off in the same day…or two…or week! I think sometimes, it might be more important for my mental health to blog (or sew or run or letterpress or read or nap or sit and stare at the wall), rather than clean or cook (or vice versa…) during those rare spare minutes when both Milo and Eliot are sleeping or otherwise occupied. And I know I don’t have to figure it all out right now. Because I won’t ever have “it” all (whatever “it” is) figured out.

I think I just needed to say I love my life, my boys, my husband, my hobbies, my house and my health and I am going to try to keep my sanity and happiness by paring down the “do everything right now” attitude that I somehow have.

That’s all. Thanks for reading.

You may or may not see me here as often. Depends. As it should.